A Serious Biscuit Port

Shore leave in Singapore, which I treated as a resupply operation. This is not the only possible approach to the city, nor perhaps the one most travel writers would recommend. It is, however, the approach for which I have developed the clearest procedures. I know what a depleted drawer looks like, and I am prepared to take proportionate action.

I returned with tea, sesame biscuits, lemon creams, crackers and something sold as a luxury digestive. That last description deserves examination. A digestive has always struck me as a biscuit founded on modest expectations, so attaching luxury to it suggests either genuine ambition or a particularly confident packaging department. I bought it in the interests of resolving the matter fairly.

The haul looked impressive gathered together. Wrappers whispered against one another, and the tea gave the whole collection an air of respectability it might otherwise have lacked. Crackers could plausibly be described as practical. Sesame biscuits offered variety. Lemon creams needed no defence from me, although I was ready to provide one if circumstances required a formal account of my purchases.

Priya called the haul excessive, then selected the lemon creams for our next Scrabble match. She did this without the slightest indication that the two actions might require reconciliation. This is not inconsistency. It is command privilege. I watched the selection being made and found that my objections were rather half hearted. Being criticised for overprovisioning is easier to bear when the critic is already arranging to share the results with you.